Loose chains.

As I listened to Focus on the Family this morning, something that was said touched my heart in a deep way. The main speaker, Tammy Daughtry, said in conversation she referred to her former husband as “my daughter’s father” instead of “my ex”. I thought about this on my drive in to work. “My Ex”. What title am I giving him? If I said this in front of the kids, what emotion or thought would that reflect to them? What “life or death” are my words putting on both him and worse of all me? I rolled it over and over for several minutes, “my ex”. Ex…that speaks so much failure. Years of failure, regret, hurt, scars, emotional damage…I could go on and on. EX, screamed in my ears, heart and soul that I had failed.

Then I looked at the other part of her statement, “my daughter’s father”. This too, I pondered over. God has released me from that broken-ness of marriage. He has released me from that failure, hurt, and emotional damage. HE is healing and redeeming me. I have begun to come to the place of “my son’s father” & “my daughter’s father”. It doesn’t matter where their father is in his journey, but I am growing to a place of new-ness. I am now at a place of respect for myself and understanding, forgiveness (daily), grace and mercy for the father. 

This isn’t just a snap the fingers, presto, I have arrived. This is a journey, step by step. God doesn’t light the whole path ahead. He illuminates each individual step and provides friends, books, family, counselors, and classes to nurture me through it. The constants are remaining in His Word, in prayer and knowing I am not alone. Neither are you. You can heal, you can grow from this. You are better than this hurt you feel or have held on to. You are greater than being “the ex”. Don’t live under that defeat. You don't have to.